<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.
<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, b***h!"
<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, b***h!"
<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.
<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, b***h!"
<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.
<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.
<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec
<Tedward> what?
<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
<Tedward> Don't correct me, b***h.

Bash.org FTW

Osama bin Laden - Numa Numa
[youtube=425,350]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/X3med-8reH8&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/X3med-8reH8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]
 

[youtube=425,350]B-8Ca3Zm83k&feature=related[/youtube]

Like, wtf! 

Chineese Backstreet boys xD

[youtube=425,350]B-8Ca3Zm83k&feature=related[/youtube]

Like, wtf! 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. LMFAO ROFL BUHAHAHAHAHAH that was damn funny.

1.) Little Johnny's Letter to Santa

Dear Santa:

You must be surprised that I'm writing you
today, the 26th of December.

Well, I would very much like to clear up certain
things that have occurred since the beginning of
the month! (While filled with illusion I wrote
you a letter) I asked for a bicycle, an electric
train set, a pair of roller blades, and a
football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying
the whole year! Not only was I first in my
class, but I had the best grades in the whole
school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there
was no one in my entire neighborhood that
behaved better than me. With my parents, my
brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I
would go on errands and even help the elderly
cross the street. There was virtually nothing I
wouldn't do for humanity!

WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A f***ING YO-YO,
A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS!! WHAT
THE f*** WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A
b***h, THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE
WHOLE f***ING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT
LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T
f***ED ME ENOUGH,YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD
ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY f***ING TOYS, THAT HE
CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE!

DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT
ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! "I'LL f*** YOU
UP!" I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS
REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE f***
AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS
EVERYWHERE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU
DIDN'T GET ME THAT f***ING BIKE, YOU PUNK b***h!!

YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, f*** YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL
FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY f***ING
BE...YOU'VE BEEN STEPPING ON THIS MOTHERf***ER
FAR TOO LONG! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU
FAT b***h!

Sincerely,
Johnny

     

 Don't Mess With My Uncle (Morals)

In a classroom one day the teacher asked her
students, for homework, to think of a true story
that has a moral.

So the next day she asked Wendy to come up
first. The teacher says, "Alright Wendy, what's
your story?"

"Well," Wendy started,"My grandfather lives on a
farm and he has chickens. He wanted to sell all
the eggs at the market but they didn't make it
to the market because the back of the truck
broke and they all fell out."

Teacher says,"And what is the moral?"

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch!"

"Very nice Wendy," Teacher looks at a small boy
in the corner of the class and says,"Now,
Johnny, your story."

Little Johnny starts,"My Uncle Ted was in
Vietnam. His helicopter was over enemy territory
when it crashed but before it did he took a
parachute, some artillary and a case of beer
down with him when he evacuated. As he was
floating down he drank the entire case of beer!
When he landed there were 100 bad guys waiting
for him. He took out his shot gun and killed 50
until his bullets ran out."

By this time the teacher has the most horrified
look on her face.

"He then took out his knife and killed 30. With
20 left he killed them all with his bare hands!"

The teacher says, "And what in God's name is the
moral of that awful story?!"

"The moral is: Never f*** with my Uncle Ted when
he's drinking!"



3.) Udurawana gets ready ,wears a tie, coat ,goes out,
climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly.


A man asks why he does this.
Udurawana:"I've been promoted as branch manager."

4.)Udurawana: I haven't slept all night in the train.


Friend: why ?


Udurawana: Got upper berth.


Friend: Why didn't you exchange?


Udurawana: Oye, there was nobody to exchange with in
the lower berth..


5.) The teacher lecturing on population -


In India, after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a
kid.


Udurawana stands up - we must find & stop her!.

6.) Udurawana -why are all these people running?


Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.


Udurawana - If only the winner will get the cup, why
are others running?

7.) Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.


Udurawana: The future tense is "you will go to jail".


8.) Udurawana found the answer to the most difficult
question ever - "What comes first, the Chicken or the
egg?


"Aiyooo, what ever you order first will come first."


________________________________________________


Udurawana wins 20 Million Rupees from a Rs. 20 lottery
ticket. Dealer gave 11 Mil after deducting tax.


Angry Udurawana: "Give me 20 Million or else return my
20 Rupees back.!"


________________________________________________


Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver you this


Packet.


Udurawana:- Why did you come so far? Instead you could
have posted it....


________________________________________________


Udurawana proposed to a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr
elder to you'...........


Udurawana said 'Oye No Problem Chandra, I'll marry you
NEXT YEAR.


_________________________________________________


Udurawana's wish - When I die, I wanna die like my
grandpa, who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming
like all the passengers in the car he was driving


__________________________________________________


Udurawana at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible


looking thing is what you call modern art ?


Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror


_________________________________________________


A man asked Udurawana, why Mahinda Rajapaksha goes
walking at evening and not in the morning.


Udurawana replied ''aiyooo Mahinda Rajapaksha is PM,
not AM''.





                                Little Johnny's Mom

                                Little Johnny walked into the bathroom one day
                                only to catch his mom getting out of the shower.
                                Johnny looks and points at her vagina and says,
                                "What's that?"

                                Little Johnny's mom says, "That's where God hit
                                me with his golden axe."

                                Little Johhny looks at his mom and says, "Holy
                                Christ, that musta hurt -- He hit you right in
                                the c***!"


                                The Stork

                                Little Johnny asked, "Mommy, where do babies
                                come from?"

                                His mother replied, "The stork brings them."

                                Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who f***s
                                the storks?


            New Teacher

                                Johnny walks into school one day to find a
                                substitute in place of his regular teacher.  She
                                says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When you
                                say my name class remember it has an "r" after
                                the first letter." The entire class says, "Hello
                                Mrs. Prussy."

                                A few days later the regular teacher is still
                                sick.  When Johnny gets to his desk the teacher
                                asks what her name is. 

                                Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, "I
                                Remember it has an "R" after the first letter." 


                                "That's right," she coaxed. 

                                Then after a few seconds Johnny says, "Mrs.
                                Crunt?"
                               
            
            F in arithmetic
                                Little Johnny returns from school and says he
                                got an F in arithmetic.

                                "Why?" asks the father.

                                "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said
                                '6'."

                                "But that's right!"

                                "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

                                "What's the f***ing difference?"

                                "That's exactly what I said."


 

Don't Mess With My Uncle (Morals)

In a classroom one day the teacher asked her
students, for homework, to think of a true story
that has a moral.

So the next day she asked Wendy to come up
first. The teacher says, "Alright Wendy, what's
your story?"

"Well," Wendy started,"My grandfather lives on a
farm and he has chickens. He wanted to sell all
the eggs at the market but they didn't make it
to the market because the back of the truck
broke and they all fell out."

Teacher says,"And what is the moral?"

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch!"

"Very nice Wendy," Teacher looks at a small boy
in the corner of the class and says,"Now,
Johnny, your story."

Little Johnny starts,"My Uncle Ted was in
Vietnam. His helicopter was over enemy territory
when it crashed but before it did he took a
parachute, some artillary and a case of beer
down with him when he evacuated. As he was
floating down he drank the entire case of beer!
When he landed there were 100 bad guys waiting
for him. He took out his shot gun and killed 50
until his bullets ran out."

By this time the teacher has the most horrified
look on her face.

"He then took out his knife and killed 30. With
20 left he killed them all with his bare hands!"

The teacher says, "And what in God's name is the
moral of that awful story?!"

"The moral is: Never f*** with my Uncle Ted when
he's drinking!"

 

MAD

MAD

  Hmmm... Ya mchn.. Alittle bit....       

MAD

LOL that was funny..buhahahahahaha

hahaha nice video Arch that was soooo funny   

[youtube=425,350]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q5WtlYktUk0&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q5WtlYktUk0&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

Open Season 3

ROFL nice rogue 

Anybody say Fire truck?

[youtube=425,350]nXY0tFNHr2A[/youtube]